Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
