Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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