Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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