im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
