Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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