Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
