So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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