No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
