I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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