When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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