just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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