She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
