Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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