the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
