Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
