I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
