You can't motorboat a personality
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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