We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
