Are we in a gay sports bar?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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