Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize