Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
