Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I am naked and annoyed.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
