I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
