lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
