i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
