Swine flu. Run for my life!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dicks are not precious.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
