White coat. Heels.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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