im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
