This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
