just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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