fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You dont lie about slip and slides
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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