i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
