i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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