Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize