There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
