I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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