I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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