So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
