Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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