fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
