she was so not down for the gang bang
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
