Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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