Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
