this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
