Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
