your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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