i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
