got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We were destined to go to rehab together
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
