i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Terrible idea I love it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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