Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
