Will you blow on my dice?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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