you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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