If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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