you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
