she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
