i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
